The sky can be so therapeutic..

I love capturing these beautiful moments.. The road to sean's house always is such a pretty ride. Its like the sky puts on a special show just for me every time...
My moms always telling me to get my head out of the clouds... But who would want to when they're so inspiring??!!
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

At least the weather & I are on the same page..

Well, I always seem to find comfort in the little things. Like feeling someone pull a blanket over me when I'm almost asleep, hearing my favorite song come on the radio, or coming home to the dinner I was secretly craving all day. Today, however, I'm finding my comfort in the fact that it seems (like usual) that the weather and I are on the same page. As I look out the door from behind my office desk I see a storm rolling in and the comforting sound of thunder crashing as the rain begins to pour. You might think that comforting is the wrong word, but to me nothing is better when I'm having a shitty day than having the rest of the sky agree with me.

I hate feeling constricted, and the fact that for the past week my car has been in the shop recovering from my week of accidents has left me feeling like I'm in a box. I can't go anywhere I need to unless someone drives me, and my schedule isnt exactly the most predictable. One minute I'm at work the next I'm getting called for a commercial casting in winter park. Of course, being a last minute casting, who's going to be available to run and come get me and tote me all the way to winter park? so of course I miss it. missing castings is like taking a punch to the stomach for me. I hate it. Not to mention booking that job would have totally thrown all my money stress out the door.

everything happens for a reason..right? -_-
that's what I have to believe since the day I got into my first accident was the day I was supposed to get my new car. obviously that has been put on hold.

ohhh happy days.

work for another couple hours then trying to get my car for the SECOND time since the first time they wait for me to get there to tell me "oops we meant 4:30 not noon" that is NOT a simple mistake. Anyways, getting my poor baby then going to do some good ole retail therapy. Nothing like spending hundreds of dollars to style a shoot then taking it all back 3 days later haha. Oh & me and babes will be making a sweet stop at Panera...to think at one time I refused to go there..what was I thinking?! Thank goodness Sean opened my eyes to the wonderfulness of Panera Bread!

7 minutes to get to work...

So I wake up at 852 and have to be at work at 9... I magically make it to work by 905 but on way I can't help but take a moment and just look at how beautiful the world can be...

And then I go to take out the mail and there's a thousand ants in our mailbox...apparently someone threw rice or bread into our mailbox purposely...so minutes after seeing how beautiful the world can be I see its ugly side.

But that's life,
Live beautifully
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Nissan cube

Hmmm interesting? Looks kind of like a one strap dress? That's "in" in fashion..guess they're trying to cross over into car manufacturing.. Orrr nissans trying to cross into fashion... Whichever it is.. I appreciate the innitiative buttt its just not working
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

life is a highway...

..and I'm constantly running out of gas. Which can be rather annoying...but that's what happens when you start to be so busy that you put neccesities on the bottom of the priority list. It may not be the most important thing on there, but it's the thing that needs to be done in order to do anything else! Double meaning? yes. metaphor? yes. True in both regards to my life? yes.

My thoughts, I should probably keep this in mind in the coming months..with shoots coming up, fashion weeks, interviews, work, follow-ups, birthdays and road trips its going to be one hell of a highway. I'm ready :)

If you want something done right...

Do it yourself. I've never found that quote to be more true than I have today. I relied on my former "manager" to talk to other agents, show them my work etc. and get my representation in Miami and Tampa etc. Well... I waited for months..nothing. I finally ditch the "manager" and look up all the agencies myself, submit my portfolio samples, and within 2 days I've been contacted by 3 agencies who are interested in meeting me in person. 2 in Miami, and one in Tampa. Now, I will be headed to Tampa tomorrow to meet with an agency, then home, then back to Tampa Saturday morning for the Tampa Bay Fashion Week Casting, back home, Sunday of course is the day of rest, then monday I'll be headed down to Miami to meet with one if not both of the agencies there that are interested.

This is in no way a continuation of my last post, but, given my recent lack of confidence and decent into depression due to my former manager's inadequacy..i found it worth my while to write up this blog incase I lose that sparkling confidence again in the future.

Now, I'm off to ab class and biking another 4 miles. wew! life of a model..

Live Beautifully..

Let's go back 3 months..

May of this year I had already finished my Associates degree at the local community college and was preparing for my high school graduation (yes simultaneously). I was like every other graduate, eager to move, eager to begin that new "chapter" of my life. Only difference was, instead of having the entire summer to spend with friends and family before moving off to college, I was to move to the other side of the world. 3 days after receiving my high school diploma.

3 days after walking across that stage I would find myself on a plane to Newark, NJ and then to Beijing, China. Leaving behind my friends, family, boyfriend and old life. It was just me and my 2 suitcases filled to the max 50lbs with everything I need to live a normal life for the next 4 months of my life.

Needless to say, this was not your normal situation for an 18 year old to find oneself in merely 3 days after graduating from high school. I was moved out and going to be living with a stranger for the next 4 months of my life in a country 12 hours ahead of everyone I knew and loved.

Now, I guess I should explain what the hell I was doing in Beijing in the first place for those of you reading this. In a nutshell, I was offered a modeling contract for 2 months in Beijing and then 2 months in Hong Kong. It was seemingly the opportunity of a lifetime and I couldn't pass it up no matter how much I'd miss everyone I'd be leaving behind.

Now back to the story, I land in Beijing and, aside from the airport, hardly ANYONE speaks english.. no signs have english translations and the amount of pictures on an signs (to help me guess as to what they said) was minimal..to say the least. It was a good experience as far as traveling.. but short.

My 4 months quickly turned into 4 days as I realized that my Atlanta & Florida agents hadnt been honest with me and were sending me to Beijing in the middle of the OFF season. Off season as in..no jobs..scarce jobs..small jobs if any. I'm a smart girl, and I'm good with numbers, and I could already tell in the few days that I was there, and after the various castings I had gone on, that these first 2 months of the off season would be one big money hole. The castings I went on for magazine adds and catalogs were all looking for models for jobs in the next few months which equated to..no money until a few months. Meanwhile, I would be working up a tab with my rent, groceries etc. I was furious with my agents for lying to me, I had specifically asked them what the market was like in Beijing at the time of the year I would be going, I asked if it would be slow since it's off season in the States and usually fashion seasons are universal. Their answers? " No no! There's tons of work, you'll be working nonstop". These words from people I had developed friendships with, people whom I not only was represented by but also worked for.

To make matters worse, a few days after my arrival I was stopping by my Beijing agency and they presented me with a new contract. Hidden in the form of just "some more agency paperwork". Now, I was the first american girl the agency accepted, all the other models were from russia, brazil etc. The chinese agencies are fluent in Mandarin and English..but rarely any of the other languages that the models spoke. All of the models that came from foreign countries were also fluent in english, but it was not their native tongue. So, when I was handed this "paperwork" in english I immediately saw it for what it was. By signing the paper I was agreeing to "acknowlege my responsibility for reimbursing the agency for the following expenses". Hmm... wasn't that what the original contract was for...? Thought so. Now, this new "expenses acknowledgement form" didn't just go back over the original items listed in the contract (i.e rent, taxes, agency fee etc.). No it went on to include anything and everything possible all the way down to the map of Beijing that the cleaning lady had handed to me the first day I was in my new apartment. Silly me for thinking that the lady was just being nice and giving me a map so I could find my way around.

This is getting ridiculously long for one entry..

I now officially deem this entry "To be continued.."

A stranger among us.. o_O

Two weeks ago I opened the french doors into our game room only to have an albino lizard dive bomb onto my head. Naturally, I shook like a maniac the lizard went flying and ran away under the nearest sofa.

Being the brave soul that I am I chased it around for a good minute trying to chase it back out the door before I finally lost site of it. Which brings us up to today's short story.

As I sit minding my own busisness, just watching "the lottery changed my life" (duh..) I catch an unfamiliar dark spot above our sliding glass doors to the pool deck (keep in mind I am still in the game room) as I slowly looked up (just to prove to myself that my mind was just playing a trick on me) I recognized THIS little fella..

Yes. Mr.Albino lizard. It decided to resurface 2 weeks later and chill out by the ceiling.

I wasss momentarilly creeped out, but then I realized that (to me) an alive lizard was a lot better than having a dead lizard lost somewhere near my bedroom.

I wass going to blog about how stoked I am for my upcoming shoot this Sunday or even Park Avenue Fashion Week, but mr.lizard definitely stole the show tonite.

Now I'm off to talk to babes and get to bed. Pilates & work in the am!

I wish I was going to class instead..but I'll save thattt story for a later blog.

Have beautiful dreams

E stands for "empty"...not "enough".

E stands for "empty", not "enough". I heard that enough today to make my ears bleed.

Before I get to that though, I must include the rest of my picture-perfect morning. Picture-perfect if you're the kind of person who gets a rush out of pressing "snooze" on your blackberry every 5 minutes for half an hour, or enjoys doing a 50 minute Pilates workout right after breakfast, showering with just enough time to get ready for work & realizing you left all your makeup sitting in your car...for 2 days.. running outside with a towel turban with t-minus 15 minutes to get ready, and finally saying "to hell with it" and throwing on a perfectly matched outfit and getting in the car. If this isn't enough and one would feel as though their morning was lacking something...then they'd have to look no further than the rearview mirror (to realize that my hair still resembled that of a wet hampster) and that the crackberry in my lap was situated to perfectly accentuate the perfect train of stains that somehow materialized somewhere between shoving on my crisp white capris and buckling my seatbelt.

Well, alls well that ends well...or ends in the middle of the road, since that's where my car decided it had had enough of being an annorexic and wanted to run off of something other than fumes.

Now I'm not going to lie, I did think about attempting to push my car out of the street. The fact that I was so close to the airconditioning but had to stay in the car was torturous and almost enough for me to try in vain to push my car, and not just push it..but push it UP my driveway..up as in up the hill that is my driveway. With a friend it would have made for a good laugh as we tried to fight gravity and hysterical laughter simultaneously. However, by myself it was a pathetic picture of my wet hair stuck to my face as I fought gravity alone (in 96 degree heat with humidity like rain) whilen fighting hysteric crying and muttering profanities at myself and my car.

All before 10am.
It was a beautiful day.

& it begins..

I could be clever, oh believe me I could. I could write up a nice juicy hook that would really catch your attention. I could write something so profound that anyone who reads the words are intrigued and thirst for more.

However, I choose to be real. It may not attract an insane amount of attention (if any)..it may not spark the interest of many people (if any)... In fact, there's a chance that by this mere 80th word, of this 6th completely improper sentence, I have lost you. Gone to find a blog that satisfies those needs for sharp wit and clever lines, juicy hooks and even juicier stories, words of wisdom and soul. For those that left to find such things, I can't say I blame you. For this blog/journal/diary/whathaveyou is not written for the approval of anyone but myself and for the chance that I may..I don't know..entertain(?) someone along the way.

Well..this has been my first post from my switch to blogger.
Actually, this has been my first (& shall we hope last?) dreadfully boring post..

Live Beautifully